


Stop Time Right Here in the Moonlight (Cause I Don't Ever Wanna Close My Eyes)

by starrywrite



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 19:51:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2440862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrywrite/pseuds/starrywrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It isn’t easy loving someone, as much as Cat loves Phil, who’s miles away from you - hell, it isn’t easy having a best friend that you’ve never met before because all Cat’s wanted for the longest time to be with Phil - physically be with him. And she’s envied everyone in his day to day life that’s been lucky enough to interact with him all of the time, because all of their interactions have been cockblocked by time zones and limited to grainy Skype calls. </p><p>But then she remembers that tomorrow, in only a number of hours, she’s going to meet Phil. She remembers that she isn’t going to be looking at him via Skype and he’s actually going to be three dimensional and in front of her, and her hands shake when she texts Phil, <i>I might not let go of you once we finally hug tomorrow.</i></p><p>
  <i>Good. I don’t want you to :] </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop Time Right Here in the Moonlight (Cause I Don't Ever Wanna Close My Eyes)

**Author's Note:**

> amazingcatrific (amazingphil x catrific) ((shh yes phan is the otp of all otps but… just… shhhh)) and yeah idk if anyone will actually read this bc it’s not phan, but i’m quite fond of how it came out so i decided to post it anyway ^_^

Cat can’t sleep. 

She rolls over to check the time, and groans to herself when she sees that it’s midnight and she’s going to hate herself when she has to wake up for her flight, because at this rate she isn’t getting any sleep for the next two hours or so. 

She tries to calm herself down, but her heart is racing in her chest and she can’t wipe the smile off of her face for longer than five minutes because tomorrow is, without a doubt, going to be the best day of her life. Because after four long years of DailyBooth private messaging, tweeting, texting, Skyping, and late night phone calls, Cat is finally going to meet Phil Lester. 

She remembers when they first started talking, how they would joke about Cat moving to London or Phil moving to California, and they’d spin countless tales about how they would meet and it would be the most incredible thing ever - but now they’re not joking anymore. It’s actually happening. Tomorrow. And honestly, Cat never thought it would be possible because they’ve always been an ocean apart, a twelve hour and twenty minute flight that both of them have contemplated booking on more than one occasion (but never followed through with because they can’t afford it). Phil’s always been out of reach, and Cat’s wanted nothing more than to just be with him… and now it’s _finally_ happening. 

She feels light headed and giddy just thinking about how in only a few hours, she’s actually going to be with Phil - physically with him. She’s going to know how tall he actually is, to know what he smells like, to know how soft his hair is (she’s never told him his, but secretly, she’s always wanted to touch his hair because it just looks so soft), but more than that, she’s finally going to be able to hug him, to wrap her arms around him and hold him tightly, and when it finally happens she’s pretty sure that she’s never going to want to let go.  
Cat sighs happily thinking of Phil, but she knows she needs to calm herself down if she wants to get at least a few hours of sleep tonight. She rolls over in bed, checking the time again, and quickly does a bit of math in her head before determining that it’s about eight in the morning UK time and even though she’s pretty sure Phil’s fast asleep right now, she reaches for her phone - smiling yet again, because her lockscreen is a photo of her and Phil on Skype - and she texts him anyway. _Can’t sleep :p too excited about tomorrow_

She doesn’t expect a reply, but about five minutes later, Phil says, _I can’t sleep either. Probably because I can’t stop thinking about finally hugging you in a few hours :3_

Cat’s heart is racing yet again, and she’s pretty sure it’s going to jump right out of her chest and start flying around her bedroom. It’s almost incredible the effect Phil has on her, the way he can reduce her to a giggling, blushy mess without even really trying. Then again, she shouldn’t be surprised because it’s been like this for the past four years but Phil still manages to make her blush as much as he did the first time he called her beautiful. He’s special like that. 

Special. That doesn’t seem like enough to describe it, but Cat’s pretty sure that there hasn’t been a word invented in the English language to describe how she feels about Phil or how important Phil is to her. Ever since the start of their friendship he’s held a special place in her heart, and it’s never happened as fast as it happened with Phil, but it’s not so unusual to her because their relationship isn’t very typical. It isn’t easy loving someone, as much as Cat loves Phil, who’s miles away from you - hell, it isn’t easy having a best friend that you’ve never met before because all Cat’s wanted for the longest time to be with Phil - physically be with him. And she’s envied everyone in his day to day life that’s been lucky enough to interact with him all of the time, because all of their interactions have been cockblocked by time zones and limited to grainy Skype calls. 

But then she remembers that tomorrow, in only a number of hours, she’s going to meet Phil. She remembers that she isn’t going to be looking at him via Skype and he’s actually going to be three dimensional and in front of her, and her hands shake when she texts Phil, _I might not let go of you once we finally hug tomorrow._

_Good. I don’t want you to :]_

Cat barely slept a wink after reading that text, but she’s being fueled by the excitement of finally meeting Phil that the lack of sleep she got is the last thing on her mind as she enters the airport. Her hands start to shake yet again as she tells Phil she’s _about to board my flight!!!!_ and _next stop Florida!!!_ and _oh my god we’re going to meet sOON PHIL!!!!!!_ He reciprocates her excitement, and their texts are reduces to keysmashes and hearts and smiley faces, and Cat’s flight feels like it’s taking four and a half years as opposed to four and a half hours but when they finally land in Florida she’s hit with an overwhelming urge to cry because she’s that much closer to Phil. 

His flight isn’t coming in until later, but as soon as she checks into the hotel where for Playlist Live, Cat’s right back at the airport, sitting in the lobby and waiting for Phil to land. it isn’t easy to pass the time because it feels like everything has slowed down tragically and she’s pretty sure another four and half years pass before she hears that Phil’s flight has finally landed, and she all but falls out of the chair she’s sitting on.

She stands up, anxiously wringing her hands together and her chest is so tight that she almost can’t breathe. And she waits for any sign of Phil, looking amongst the crowd of people in their airport - and then suddenly she sees him, and it honest to God feels like the wind has been knocked out of her. 

Her hand jerks up before she can even process what’s actually happening, and she’s waving frantically for Phil because she can’t get her vocal chord to work at the moment. They lock eyes and Phil’s smile is wider than she’s ever seen it, and she brings her hands up to cover her mouth because she’s so overwhelmed with emotion that she doesn’t even know what to do. She feels tears hitting her hand and she hadn’t even realized she had started crying, and even though she hates crying she deems it justifiable right now because Phil - _Phil Lester_ \- is literally only a few feet away from her.

The only thing her mind can process right now is _oh my god oh my god oh my god_ and after a moment of just standing there, frozen in shock that Phil is actually in her presence, she starts running to him, and Phil drops his bags immediately and opens her arms. A sob tears at her throat but she’s smiling wider than she’s ever smiled before as she throws herself into Phil’s arms. He squeezes her tightly and picks her up, spinning her around, and Cat buries her face against his shoulder, and even though neither of them have said anything yet, they know exactly how elated the other is that this is finally happening. 

Cat feels her feet touch the ground a moment later, but they haven’t stopped hugging yet and Cat’s pretty sure that everyone in the airport is staring at the two of them but she doesn’t care because right now, it’s as if she and Phil are the only two people in the whole world. 

Reluctantly, the two of them break their hug and they’re both giggling like mad as Phil reaches out to cup Cat’s face in his hands and he just says, “Wow.”

“What?” she asks.

“It’s just,” Phil blushes, shaking his head a little before he says, “You’re even prettier in person then you are on my computer screen.” 

“Phil,” is all Cat can say right now and she’s smiling so much her face actually hurts but this is a kind of pain she’d put up with for the rest of her life, and now the only thing her mind can process is _I love you I love you I love you_ and she’s not telekinetic but she’s pretty certain Phil is thinking the same thing too.

_You and I,_  
 _We're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky._  
 _With you, I'm alive_  
 _Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide._

* * *

 _Without you, I feel broke, like I'm half of a whole._  
 _Without you, I've got no hand to hold._  
 _Without you, I feel torn, like a sail in a storm.  
_ _Without you, I'm just a sad song._

Cat can’t sleep. 

____She lied down for a nap after getting home from the airport, but she doesn’t fall asleep and the day turns to night as she lies in her bed. Hours passing and she realizes she’s done nothing but lie there, hugging Phil’s hoodie tightly to her chest._ _ _ _

____She misses him. She’s never felt a yearning like this for someone before, she’s never missed anyone as badly as she misses Phil, and her heart literally aches right now because all she wants is to be with him again. The past few days they spent together were amazing; their first meeting, their first kiss - everything happened over the past few days, and now it’s over. It’s like rereading your favorite book and when you get to your favorite part, all you want is to turn the pages back and read it again and again, but someone’s ripped out the pages and now all you have are the memories of what once was._ _ _ _

____But the memories aren’t enough, and she just wants the real thing again - she wants Phil again. When she was with Phil, she felt like she was half of a whole, and now that they’re back to square one, she just feels… incomplete. Like there’s a part of her that’s missing. And it hurts, it actually hurts more than she ever thought it would._ _ _ _

____She didn’t anticipate this at all; she never thought that meeting Phil for the first time would leave her plagued with such a sadness that’s weighing her down to her bed, inhaling the remaining scent of his cologne that’s still clinging to his hoodie. It’s pathetic, she knows that, but she can’t do anything about this sadness other than to just be sad. And she’s not just sad, she’s a bit angry too. Because they’re right back to where they started, miles apart only to be connected by their next Skype call, and it’s not as though she expected things to change drastically after their first meeting but she expected to be floating on Cloud 9 for the next few days, and now she just feels as though she’s fallen right off and plummeted to the ground._ _ _ _

____Her thoughts are interrupted by the loud sound of her cell phone vibrating against her mattress and she sighs; she really isn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now. Still, she reaches for her phone, trying to ignore the sudden pang to her chest when she sees her lockscreen (a picture taken of her and Phil in Florida), and her heart jumps a bit in her chest when she sees that it’s Phil texting her. Quickly, she unlocks her phone to see what he’s said._ ___

_I can’t sleep :[_

She looks at the time; it’s about four in the morning UK time and she suspects that Phil must be horribly jetlagged right now because he’s not much of a night owl anyway. 

Another text follows before she can even think of a reply.

_And I miss you._

Cat didn’t think it was possible for her heart to break into any more pieces than it already is, but she’s pretty sure she’s got shards of broken pieces being snapped in half and they’re stabbing at her chest right now. She presses Phil’s hoodie tighter to her face and she types to him, _Miss you more. Skype?_

_Yes plz_

She gets her laptop out on her bed and powered on as quickly as she can, then calls Phil immediately. She doesn’t have to wait long for him to answer and as soon as Phil’s face fills her laptop's screen, Cat wants to cry. Days ago she was crying tears of joy because she was finally able to just hug Phil for the first time, but now she’s about to cry out of sadness because he’s back in the UK and she’s back in California, and it’s not fair. It’s not fair at all that the best person she’s ever met is so far away, that she’s unable to be with the person she wants to be with more than anything, that she’s limited to seeing Phil only at YouTube events strung out months apart and it’s not fucking fair, none of it is fair.

“Hey kitten,” Phil says as soon as he sees her.

“Hi,” Cat says, her voice breaking, and she covers her face with her hands as she starts to cry and whispers, “Damn it,” to herself. 

____“Oh, please don’t cry,” Phil says, and Cat apologizes for her tears but she can’t seem to stop crying - how embarrassing. But Phil lets her cry and he listens to frustrations about distance, and after a while she finally manages to calm down and she apologizes again. “Don’t be sorry,” he tells her. “I’m sad too. I wish I was with you.”_ _ _ _

____Cat nods in agreement. “At least we have Vidcon,” she says lightly, trying to be positive about all of this, as hard as it may be._ _ _ _

____“Yeah,” Phil says slowly, looking down for a moment. “It sucks,” he says after a moment of silence. “You’re there and I’m here, and it just sucks.”_ _ _ _

____“I know,” Cat says. “At least we still have Vidcon,” she says, trying to be positive about all of this._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, Vidon.” Phil nods in agreement, but Cat can tell that he’s too sad about right now to get excited about something that’s not going to happen for another three months. And that sucks; she hates that Phil is sad, she hates that she’s sad. She hates distance and she hates not being able to hold his hand and hug him and kiss him and just be with him. And what she hates even more is that there’s nothing either of them can do about it. At least for the time being_ _ _ _

____“You know,” she speaks up. “The day we finally got to meet was probably the best day of my life.”_ _ _ _

____Phil smiles a bit. “Mine too,” he agrees. “I can’t stop thinking about it. You’re taller than I thought you were.”_ _ _ _

____Cat finally manages a small smile. “Yeah, you might’ve mentioned that about ten times in the past couple of days,” she teases._ _ _ _

____“Oh yeah,” Phil chuckles. “I like that you’re tall though; I don’t lose you in crowds and you’re perfect for cuddling.”_ _ _ _

____“Phil!” Cat blushes, hiding her face in her hands again, and she hears Phil chuckle once more._ _ _ _

____“You’re even more beautiful in person,” he continues. “Honestly, YouTube and Skype don’t do you justice; I was a bit blown away when I first saw you, love.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh my gosh, stop!” Cat laughs. She can feel the heat radiating off her face right now and she’s certain that she must be red as can be in the face._ _ _ _

____“You’re so cute when you blush,” he tells her. “And I love that I can make you blush so much.”_ _ _ _

____“Shut up,” she mumbles, but she can’t stop smiling and this is the first time she’s smiled since saying goodbye to Phil and it’s nice._ _ _ _

____“Hey, you’re smiling again,” Phil says. She glances up at him to see that he looks just a bit happier than he did a moment ago when she was crying, and it makes her heart happy, the ache of missing him slowly fading away and while she knows it’s still there, it doesn’t hurt as much as it did a while ago._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, well, you always make me smile,” Cat admits. She can feel the butterflies in her stomach taking flight and it’s crazy and incredible how half a world away that Phil can do this to her. But as usual, she isn’t surprised. Phil’s pretty incredible like that. And she still can’t help but to think how unfair it is that someone so incredible is so far away from her, and it’s even more unfair that she has to wait another three months just to hug him again. In the meantime, Skype calls and cuddling his hoodie until it loses his scent will just have to suffice._ _ _ _


End file.
